In this day and age, dating has become as instant and shallow as the many innovations that have been released to provide a faster, quicker and easier solution to our problems. Our generation has given birth to things such as speed-dating, tinder and a pandemic of boys (and even men!) walking around proclaiming themselves as "fuckbois". I have definitely had my fair share of being "played" and even had an entire 9-month phase, after my last relationship, where all I did was throw around pieces of my heart to whoever gave me the attention. Yeah. I was that desperate to fill the hole of emptiness that devoured my aura. Nevertheless, I don't regret anything because these experiences forced me to learn from my mistakes and gave me the strength to finally ingrain in my conscience that I deserved someone who actually appreciated the love I had to give them.
I think the start of the problem is the expectation to procreate and to extend our lineages. This is the most primitive instinct of survival, for any living creature, which is why organisms have offspring to pass on their genes. Does one have to produce children? No. Although, it is usually expected of people to have a family. I guess this is why a lot of people rush into giving their heart away in order to secure a bright future with a capable partner and have enough time left in their lives to establish a family.
Time will always be our enemy and death is inevitable. Which is why relationships and being involved in another person's feelings should be an investment and not just a silly game to play when bored. I used to think that under the "fuckboi" image was a boy that could be saved from their scarred past, but it is all just a ruse to get women into their bed. (Oh and by the way, to whoever is reading this, stop texting him/her.) Getting into a relationship is the first step to take before eventually being wed. It is taken quite seriously by most people. If you aren't ready for that commitment, instead of being shady and toying with people, own up to your feelings, leave them alone and then find someone who is also just as unprepared as you to fuck -excusemyfrench- around with.
The key to finding someone else is to first, find yourself. You are as whole alone as you are whole with a loving partner. No matter how much someone cares for you, it is impossible for them to shield you from all harm or hold your hand through every misfortune. You must have the strength to stand by yourself, against all of your demons and only then will you be ready to fight off someone else's. Many people nowadays forget to give themselves enough time to grow leaving them to depend wholly on the strength of another person to get past their own troubles. This lack of self-love and strength causes toxic relationships, which do not benefit either party included.
Finding your groove can take time and time may not be of the essence, but it is your life. Live by your dreams, aspirations and goals. Focus on what makes you happy and create opportunities for yourself to further your development. It is in times like this that you will find what you haven't really been looking for.
I did say I would try to post every couple of days but I went through the weirdest writer's block ever the past week. Although, it was more of an overload because words were coming out of my brain but my ideas weren't linking. I think I wrote this post about 5 different ways before I was able to finally arrange my thoughts and somehow make this.
anywhoo, click me for the forum post!